Living in this pandemic is a roller coaster of emotions. Some days I am filled with peace, content to live in my small home with my husband and son, dog, and cat; neighbors I can chat with over the fence while keeping our six-foot social-distancing space; food; take-out; hikes with my daughter and grandson; technology that allows me to continue tutoring three of my ten students; my husband’s ability to work from home. There are many good things for which I’m grateful.
On the flip side of that same coin is pain, stress, disconnection, fear. For the past week, my heart has raced with adrenaline. It flips inside my chest to where I place a hand on it in hopes of calming it down. I’ve spent my anniversary, birthday, Easter at home.
While the government speaks of re-opening, it seems more things are closing. Last week, our Governor closed the schools for the remainder of the year. This broke my heart and started the pain I am still experiencing.
Yesterday, we were required to begin wearing face masks when in public places where social distancing was not possible. I don’t want to wear one. I don’t want to believe it’s that bad. But, I will, because it’s required. And, because if there’s even the possibility that it will protect someone, then I will do it. But, this is hard.
Ivy should be training for pet therapy, but PAWS for People is not operating right now.
I read a post from Alapocas State Park yesterday that encouraged people to use the parks “sparingly, as needed, and during off-peak times: before 10 a.m. and after 4 p.m. daily.” Oh, I pray they don’t close the parks. Please. The library has been closed, the schools are closed, not the parks.
It’s not all bad. It really isn’t. I am grateful. I am also sad. Both things can be true.