A gentle sense of malaise has set in over the past few days. At first on the surface, it has now begun to seep like melted snow into thick winter grass. I look for its origin, for in the finding, I can hope to resolve it.
This uneasiness is not easily identified. It is hidden, but its effects are plain. I consider what is around me: the ongoing pandemic, the suffering of a dear friend, the deaths of three significant adults from my childhood and young adult years. Any of these could produce sadness as I mourn with those who mourn.
And, yet. there is something about this feeling that has life of its own, as though it is fueled by the very air around me. I sense it in posts I’ve seen on social media. I hear it in public service announcements. There is a tugging in this season, an awareness that something is just not right.
Yes, this, too, shall pass. But, for now, I will sit with it. And, acknowledge it. And, wait.