Denise Marotta LopesDenise Marotta Lopes

Encouragement. Hope. Without exception, love.

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Close to Home

by Denise Marotta Lopes on Jul 12, 2024 category Gardens, Stories, Uncategorized

I walked Ivy to Edgemoor Road this morning; really, we walked each other. Prior to the past year, she and I had walked that path each day for over three years, sometimes leaving so early on winter mornings, that the dark would cause us to rush off of Rodman Road to Brandywine Boulevard where we were safe on the sidewalk.

There was a rhythm to those early mornings, a familiarity of buses and sanitation trucks, cars gliding through four-way stop signs, kids waiting on street corners for the school buses. I knew the names of most people and dogs we passed: Bob and Skyler; Joan and Riley; Snoopy and his dad or mom (whose names I never learned) Deb and her daughter’s dog whom she took when she moved out.

When Franklin came to live with us, I would walk Ivy first and then repeat the walk with Franklin. People along the way would ask if this was my first lap or second. I noticed when people stopped walking. The man with the knee wrap; Deb, whose daughter took the dog; Valerie with the very short hair and huge smile who yelled, “Hello, Miss Denise!” when she saw me. I wondered about them. I wonder now.

Along the way I observed who cut down a tree, moved a rose bush, or planted new flowers. Once a man turned on his sprinkler right as Ivy and I were crossing in front of his house and he apologized profusely saying, “I’m mean, but not that mean.” He was not mean. He used to leave cuttings for me from his rose bush, apricot in color. Another woman, a kindergarten teacher at a local Catholic school, has a huge tulip tree on her front lawn. I stand under it in spring and wallow in its fragrance. She told me once that she grew up in that house and has photos of herself under that tree on Easter mornings.

Mr. Winston Black lives in the big ranch on the corner. He speaks with a thick accent and uses a walking stick to navigate the hills. He does not like the cold winters here and often travels to his home country until the weather breaks.

On today’s walk, the weather was warm with rain forecasted. We’ve had a heat wave lately and the thought of temps only reaching 80 degrees, though very humid, was welcome. I thought it would be a good time to try the walk. What used to take me 35 minutes, today took one hour. My steps were small and painful. Still recovering from my year-long illness and side effects from medications made me more like the tortoise than the hare, but I made that walk. Me and Ivy.

We passed all the usual places. Tom’s fig trees were huge, his apple tree dotted with red fruit, his olive tree silver and flowing, so much taller than last year. The man with the rose bush did not seem to be around. His grass was overgrown, the rose bush no longer produced flowers where he had moved it to the side yard. Deb’s house looked empty, though the lawn had been cut. When I waved to the bus drivers, they did not beep as they used to. Things seemed different today.

Maybe people were on vacation or walking at different times of day, but my walk was not as I remembered it. Things had changed over the past year and I wasn’t there to see the gradual movement. I may try again another time, or I may find a new path to walk.

When Ivy and I turned off of Brandywine Boulevard, onto Rodman Road, I saw the man who works on his garden while his Dalmatian runs off-leash. He asked how I was feeling and said it was good to see me out. I waved to the woman in the rental, the one who collects weeds with her mother and makes ink-prints and explained the whole process to me the other day. I am thankful for my neighbor’s full garden and smile thinking of her one-year-old daughter popping cherry tomatoes into her mouth. I appreciate the pots of flowers placed on my front stoop by another neighbor who thought I’d appreciate a pop of color.

It felt like progress to make that long walk, and I sensed a level of success for having achieved it. But, I realize things have changed while I’ve been gone. Sometimes change is good. Maybe. While I write, I watch the familiarity of the flurry of birds at my feeder: the yellow goldfinches, the gray catbirds, the orange house finches amid the pastel pink echinacea, the hot pink hibiscus, the long winding vines of the honeysuckle. Sometimes, the most beautiful things are very close to home. But you have to look for them. Like the inconspicuous flowers of the hedge that surrounds our patio. If you don’t look close enough, you won’t see it.

Summer Storm

by Denise Marotta Lopes on Jun 24, 2024 category Gardens, Uncategorized

The forecast for last night called for a severe thunderstorm warning. After numerous days of high humidity and upper-90-degree temperatures, I welcomed the possibility. I watched the sky darken as I sat on the screened porch with my three dogs and one cat. The winds picked up, bending the tall trees, showing the undersides of leaves, and sending the sounds of an oncoming train.

Finally, the skies opened and rain began to fall, delightfully. It rained sideways as the wind carried the rain in sheets across the drive and through the gardens. I wondered at the word “sheets” to describe how rain falls. Was it like bedsheets? Or sheets of paper? There was a white to it and a form that moved as though it had somewhere important to be.

Thunder roared, but I saw no lightning. The dogs were calm, but I saw no birds. I wondered where they had sheltered as the trees were moving with such ferocity, that they didn’t seem a safe place to wait out the storm. The temperature dropped from 91-degrees to 74-degrees and with it a lifting of the oppressive humidity. We could all breath easier.

The morning brought the smell of freshly-washed air, of a breeze sent to absorb the water that had fallen last night. The echinacea looked happy. The large potted flowers seemed a bit water-logged. As I prayed from the same place where I watched last night’s storm, I heard a cacophony of sounds. Birds seemed to be everywhere, singing, chirping, flying, criss-crossing. They reminded me of children being set free of the classroom to head out for recess. Most of the birds were in pairs or groups as they fluttered about. All but one, that is.

One sets itself apart on the railing of my deck and looks up into the sky. I know its name because I see the dark spot on its chest. It conjures up, from its very soul, the sound of heaven. It opens its beak as it releases the melody for all to hear. The song sparrow.

And, all is right with the world.

Our Trek Back to Stowe

by Denise Marotta Lopes on May 28, 2023 category Uncategorized

Much can happen in 35 years.

Joe and I had been married a year when we first visited Stowe, Vermont. A friend took us on a trek that stopped at the Home of Franklin D. Roosevelt in Hyde Park, NY; the Grandma Moses Museum in Bennington, Vermont; the now-closed Norman Rockwell Museum in Rutland, Vermont; and the Calvin Coolidge compound in Plymouth Notch. I remember feeling nauseous as we wound our way around, up and down country roads. We saw mountains, we experienced history, and we wallowed in nature.

The culmination of our trip from home in New Jersey was to the Trapp Family Lodge in Stowe. We arrived later in the day, checked into our room, and saw the pinnacle of our trip—the glorious mountains. We opened the doors to our balcony and stepped out to the breathtaking view. It filled the sky. In the morning, the clouds were below us. I remembered meeting one of the relatives of Maria Von Trapp. Our friend was asking questions about what was real and unreal about their depiction in the movie. He said the family was not singing during the escape. That has always stuck with me.

Since our initial visit, I’ve wanted to return. I’ve mentioned it to my husband on many occasions. Trips to visit his parents in Florida, or ventures to the Jersey Shore ensued, but never a return to Stowe. This year, for our anniversary, he decided now was the time. So, 35 years later, we headed north—this time from our home in Delaware.

We’d been on the road most of the day, relieved to finally pull into the lot at the Trapp Family Lodge. We wheeled the luggage through the drizzle and entered the lodge—a stoic man holding the door for us like we were welcomed guests.

The first thing I noticed was the darkness. The dark wood. The dark counters. The smaller-than-remembered lobby. It wasn’t at all the sunny entrance I had in my memory. I brushed it off to fatigue—the long ride. The overcast sky. We took the stairs to the third floor, through the game room, around the narrow halls. We still couldn’t find our room and were fortunate to find a kind worker who directed us.

It was at the end of a long hallway, last door on the left. No key entry. We opened the door and walked inside. It was welcoming. Clean. The bathroom had been updated. The bed was comfortable to sit on. We were quiet. I was feeling lost; my memories of the lodge did not match that of this quiet, Bavarian-styled building. The door to the balcony beckoned and I stepped through. Directly in front of me was the mountain. The majestic mountain, still in its glory, unchanged to my eye, brought comfort.

We unpacked, anxious to go to town and eat at Ranch Camp, a casual restaurant recommended by friends where one can shop for bikes, eat, and drink beers. It was young, updated, fresh. I felt at home. We shared nachos, Brussels sprouts salad, and tacos. I wanted to stay longer. We got a recommendation for breakfast and headed back to the lodge for a rest.

The weather on Saturday was delightful. Folks were out on the bike trails. Families shopped. A birthday party was celebrated at a nearby park. We began the day at the recommended breakfast joint. It was all it was made out to be. We went to some little shops and while I was paying for books, I heard my husband’s distinct voice speaking with some women he had just met. Apparently, they were also Portuguese, and thus ensued conversation about the Azores and Lisbon, the spelling of names, and more. I smiled knowing he had met some of his people.

We headed back to the lodge for a presentation about the von Trapp family given by a staff member, concluding with a chat by Maria’s grandson. I am smitten with anything “The Sound of Music”. To think that this was where Maria and her family had settled gave me more of an appreciation for the history and beauty of the place. We were told that when the von Trapps were looking for a home, they stopped at an old farm. While the Baron was looking at the broken-down buildings, Maria saw the mountains, and said, “This is it!” To think that the mountain was still there, and that she had lived on this land, connected me to her dream.

The grandson asked if we had any questions. I could not bring myself to speak, but if I had, I would have said that I had no questions, but would have thanked him. Thanked him for what? Thanked him for being born into a family that had reached notoriety because of a movie made about his family’s life? To be part of a heritage that had escaped tyranny and made a new life? For being courageous in the face of death? For being an inspiration? Maybe all of the above.

We left to walk the grounds. I remembered 35 years ago, walking the white paper birch lined path to a stone chapel in the woods. There weren’t as many of these trees this time, but enough to remind me that this was indeed the path. We learned from the presentation that one of Maria’s son’s had built the chapel, carrying one huge stone at a time up the hill and erecting the building because of a promise he made to God in a fox-hole during World War II. It took him seven years to complete. I prayed a rosary in that small building, adding my prayers to those of others who had stood on that same ground, surrounded by the same stones, in those same woods.

My husband held my hand as we descended the path, steep, and uneven. Seeing the chapel was one of the things I most-wanted to do.

We wandered back into town where we shopped, walked, and visited a bar that had not yet opened. The proprietor invited us in, poured a beer for Joe and a Pellegrino for me. We spoke about the coronation of King Charles which had happened earlier that day, and other random facts about the Royal Family. She was a wealth of knowledge. We attended Mass at a modern Catholic church where we were welcomed by a lovely woman who treated us like family. On the way out, the priest told us to drive down near the post office to see the trees that had been felled by beavers. He said there were nearly 11 trees that criss-crossed the stream.

We finished the night with dinner at Doc Ponds. A turntable played classic rock and it was loud. But it was alive, and was the reason we opted for dinner in town rather than dinner reservations at the more formal lodge. We returned to the lodge and chatted with the front desk person before sitting in a comfortable space with a view of the mountains. We sat close, looking at the photos we had taken on our phones and reminiscing about our time in Stowe.

While the building had remained relatively unchanged, to my eyes, it was different. The mountain was the same. The drive remained long, yet peaceful and beautiful. There were still no billboards in Vermont. There was also little diversity. The town had grown. Younger, beautiful entrepreneurs had brought their creativity to art galleries, restaurants, and shops. People drove the speed limit. They did not litter.

Early the next morning, we packed up and headed south, anxious to return to Delaware, to our three dogs and one cat. To the place where our daughter and family live. To where our son would be returning from college. To our favorite coffee shop and parks and restaurants.

I was 30 years old the first time we visited Stowe. I am now 65. Much can happen in 35 years. Much has changed, but with it, the ability to regard what has remained. I recognize the contrast. I am not the person I was 35 years ago. I am a new person returning to an old place expecting it to have remained the same while neither of us had. With new eyes, I see what Stowe is now, and I like it. I am reminded that things do not remain the same. The world is fluid. Even that which remains—like that beautiful mountain—changes with the passage of time because the one looking upon it has changed.

The trek back to Stowe wasn’t exactly what I expected, but I like what I experienced both 35 years ago and today.

The Suddenly of Spring

by Denise Marotta Lopes on Mar 30, 2023 category Uncategorized

New mothers are subject to a good deal of advice. Some is welcome, while others not so much. A phrase shared with me was, “The days are long but the years are short.” It applies to more than raising children.

In seasons of stifling grief; on cold winter days; and during profound illness, the hope of better days seems far away. And, yet, even in the midst of these, there are clearings in the clouds. While we were mired in uncertainty, other things were growing. What we thought would always remain, somehow, suddenly changes.

Spring is like that. One day is raw and chilling. The next day, daffodils fill a hillside. What was once merely a fallen tree branch, now serves as a guidepost for snowdrops.

This year, I was determined to seek out signs of hope, of growth, of beauty in the midst of sorrow. I’ve driven to Brandywine Park waiting for the cherry trees to blossom. Finally, suddenly, there are signs. The rain was worth it. The cold days—when growth seemed elusive—were all worth it.

I walked beneath these trees yesterday and looked up to see the blue sky on the other side of the buds. The contrast was stark. I stood in that moment, transfixed at such beauty. I breathed in their scent. I noticed the sounds of cars travelling on nearby I-95. I heard the rush of water on Brandywine Creek. I listened inadvertently to a woman on her cell phone, having a heated conversation nearby, and the blaring bass coming from a car that had pulled into a parking space. It was an integration of sight and sound; fragrance and communion.

I am reminded that both and all can coexist.

Spring

by Denise Marotta Lopes on Apr 22, 2022 category Uncategorized

green of budding leaves

melodies of early birds

certain signs of spring

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Set Your Gaze

by Denise Marotta Lopes on Feb 24, 2022 category Uncategorized

You are what you gaze upon.

Where is my gaze focused today?

It is on my neighbor’s fence, watching the hedge grow over and through onto. My thoughts grow as I consider space, and boundaries, and when will those trees grow in?

What am I looking at?

Drishti is a word used in yoga—a point of focus during a particular move. How can staring at a point on the wall help me to hold a pose? I don’t know, but it does. Perhaps I stop thinking about falling because my mind is focused on that little point on the wall.

Where do my eyes go?

Looking at items up close causes eye fatigue, so I go outside and find a point far away that allows my eyes to focus on a distant object.

The tops of trees.
The flight patterns of birds.
Is that a “V”? A turkey vulture.
Is that a flat wing? An eagle or a hawk.

Where do I focus when sadness strikes?

Is it down and inward?
Is this where I look for my answers?

When a doctor’s test reveals the possibility of concern, or the news reports onset of unrest, do I go down the rabbit trail of the worst possible outcomes?

In The Monastic Heart by Joan Chittister, she shares a story about a man who has lost his treasure. On hands and knees he searches through the dust and dirt trying to find it. Others stopped to help him, but to no avail.

Frustrated, one of them asks, “Sir, are you sure you lost it here?”

He responds, “No, it was not here.”

“Then why are we looking for it in this location?”

He says, “Because this is where the light is.”

What am I gazing upon?

Will I lean on the goodness of God knowing I will have the grace to deal with each thing as I need it?

Will I continue to live my life, loving my neighbor, remaining in the light? Will I focus on that point on the wall?

I am what I gaze upon.

Snowy Beach

by Denise Marotta Lopes on Jan 28, 2022 category Uncategorized

Sometimes, I’ve just got to get away. So, I suggested a two hour drive to a Delaware beach—in winter.

It might seem an apathetic endeavor to travel to the ocean and not enjoy the luxury of warm sunshine and a swim in the Atlantic, but just the opposite was true. I found the dichotomy of a day at the beach to be both refreshing and invigorating.

An early-riser, I walked to the sand before dawn and watched as the earth turned slowly toward the sun. The seagulls seemed unfazed by the freezing temperatures; the snowfall from two days earlier still on the boardwalk and parts of the beach.

My favorite time, even at home, is right before dawn. It is the time when preparations are being made, when it’s no longer night, but not quite day. The sky shows signs of what’s to come even before the star of the day shows up. The colors are vivid, striking, with nothing to distract one’s eye from them.

I held my gaze at the spot where I would soon see the sun. It was red, broken by long strands of cloud, causing texture in the landscape. I began to see brightness approaching, but decided to look to the left and was struck by the grandeur of the sky. It is easily missed by those who direct their sights on the luminary of sunrise, and miss the magnificence of the supporting cast.

Later in the day, the beach looked entirely different. A young child moved her feet on the sand, then the snow, then the sand again while her mother photographed her with a cell phone. The grasses were visible, the fence surrounding the protected area in full view. Even the crashing waves shared the spotlight with all there was to see.

The horizon, the depth of distance between this shore and that on the other side of the ocean, made me feel both small and at the same time, significant by the mere presence of my feet firmly planted on the ground.

First Fruits

by Denise Marotta Lopes on May 10, 2021 category Furry Friends, Uncategorized

It’s become tradition to hang the hummingbird feeder on my son’s birthday at the beginning of May, and then wait. It’s a labor of love, as there is often a delay between the preparation and the sighting. I clean the feeder with soap and water; then sanitize in a mixture of water and bleach. I prepare the nectar—4 parts water to 1 part sugar—dissolve and cool. I pour the nectar into the feeder, attach the top, hang it on a shepherd’s hook in an area I can see from my porch, and wait.

This time it took six days, but this morning I saw it. Stealth in nature, it appears, it hovers, wings flapping to the point of disappearance. It dips, it hovers, it lands, it drinks. It hovers, it zips away.

I find myself smiling, holding my breath, as I witness another first. This hummer is likely passing through as it migrates to its summer home. He is merely a migrator—resting, refreshing, reinvigorating. A welcome visitor.

There’s something about the first. There is a wonder in what has not been seen before. It sets the stage for what’s to come. It provides hope in the next thing.

Our beloved dog, Roger, died two years ago today. Last summer we planted a climbing rose bush in our front yard in his honor. This weekend, the first rose, red like wine, emerged, tall and straight, and with it, a reminder of hope and love that never dies.

Air Plant Infatuation

by Denise Marotta Lopes on Apr 30, 2021 category Uncategorized

I have a love affair with air plants. They require no soil, no special food. They ask very little, other than for the correct sun exposure and a weekly watering. What they give in return is raw beauty.

Each weekend, I gather them together at my kitchen sink and gently shower them. Similar to what they would experience in a rain forest, they are accustomed to the dousing and are designed with little crevices to hold the water during dry spells. I allow them the luxury of a soaking for 20 minutes and a brief drying period prior to returning them to their happy place.

That place began on my kitchen window sill above the sink. The morning sun and indirect light was just right and they were thriving. I was surprised to see some of them develop a deep purple flower, and have since learned that this happens only once in their lifetimes. I have also seen them produce a growth which soon matches the original plant. I separate them and each flourishes on its own.

As I collected more air plants—some purchased, some gifted—I began to place them in small decorative vases, part of a monthly collection that once belonged to my uncle. Apparently, I was not the only one intrigued by the sight of these beauties. I began to find them missing from the sill and when searching for them, discovered the remnants in a corner or in the basement. Our cat was jumping on the counter, snatching said plants, and sharing them with my dog. Some I was able to nurture back to health; others were too far gone. It feels like a death to me.

So, I decided to place the vases and plants in a decorative wooden cabinet, hung on the wall above the counter near the window. But, alas, my determined cat will not be deterred.

As with all things, I recognize the ebb and flow, the life and death, the beauty and the beast. I do my best to protect and nurture; some things are out of my control.

The Good Old Days

by Denise Marotta Lopes on Apr 11, 2021 category Uncategorized

Thirty-four years ago today, I walked down the aisle holding on to the strong arm of my father. Waiting at the other end was the man I would spend the majority of my life with. Reflecting on that day, I returned to the hopes and dreams I placed on our marriage. Most were unrealistic; some were beyond expectation. There are things I would say to that woman if I had the advantage of years. I do; and, I will.

The worst of times are often the best of times.

Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t morph. Remain independent. Don’t expect someone else to make everything right. You are capable.

Be supportive. Laugh. Dream. Stay in the moment a bit longer. Stop planning. Leave the dishes in the sink. Have a little wine.

Play. Stay up late. Go to bed early. Don’t compare.

Reflect; don’t dwell. Be alone. Make plans with friends. Money isn’t everything. Your grass is just as green.

Appreciate all of it. Trust yourself. Continue to walk side-by-side. Look for the good. Plant flowers.

Get a dog. Bake a cake. Watch a bad movie. Go to a ball game.

Laugh at the same jokes. Appreciate. Hope. Wonder.

These are the good old days.

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      • Stories
        • A Mom to the Rescue
        • Everyone’s Aunt Lucy
        • Everyone’s Neighbor
        • My Dad’s New Clothes
      • Furry Friends
        • Raising Ivy
        • Raising Ivy (12 weeks)
        • Raising Ivy (4 months)
        • Raising Ivy…the saga continues

      Author Bio

      Denise Marotta Lopes

      I appreciate the little things and write about them. I desire to bring encouragement, hope,and—without exception—love.

      denisemarottalopes@gmail.com